New Year's Resolution

1. Get ready for the Exam
2. 2 FETs and 1 fresh cycle
3. Buy Property
4. Cut down on shopping
5. Cut down on cold drinks

最近真的过得不太好..

原以为可以过个安安静静的圣诞节,都已经是十二月了,还能有甚么变卦呢! 可人要是倒霉起来,霉运可是一发不可收拾的. 当我开始以平静的心情应付我的生活时,我还积极的买了不少Supplements给DH和我自己. 然后也积极的开始念书,想要多拿一张文凭. 身体和工作上的不如意竟排山倒海的冲着我来. 从上个礼拜开始我的皮肤开始敏感,从头到脚轮流发痒. AF过后的十多天,已经两天了我终于知道甚么是spoting,是IVF的副作用吗?

工作上,我已经向老板表示过我不想handle这份作业,而且这是我首次拒绝,我也有充分的理由. 我真的很想知道为什么还是我? 是因为我好欺负吗? 是因为我请的病假请得不够多吗? 如果做个好员工是这种待遇的话,那我会确定明年我有病就请假,准时放工回家. 真是伤透了心!!

然后明天我还得若无其事的面对同事们,我很庆幸一早没答应参加明晚的X'mas Party. 要知道我的演技真的还没出神入画到这个地步,放过我吧! 今天已经是我失眠的第三天了.

考试

我想只有失败过的人才会明白这种心情,我想我应该可以慢慢走出来的. 曾经问过朋友一个超欠扁的问题:心痛的感觉是怎么样的? 这就是心痛的感觉了吗? 我想我可能懂了.

你知道人通常遇见自己无法控制的事情,就会开始怨天尤人,觉得上天不公平. 我想我是处于这种状态中. 我突然领悟到,自己的生活才是最重要的. 上天是不会理会你办事有没有责任感,就算你在公司里的懒散是众所周知,就算你只是在公司里混水摸鱼,也无所谓. 因为我突然发现那些很轻易就怀上孩子的同事们,几乎都可归类于这一型. 虽然她们在公司不受欢迎,大部份人都害怕与她们一起工作,但至少她们在她们的家庭生活里是成功的. 当然我也不是个事业心重的人,工作对我来说就像考试,虽然不可能名列前茅,但却也不允许自己成绩太差. 简而言之,在决定选择生育这条路后,很有可能我就会是两头不到岸的那类型.

我很希望DH是个和我思想百分之百相符的人,我从小就是个不育主义者,很可惜他不是. 因为这样,生育这件事从去年开始就一直困扰着我,毕竟年级也大了. 我以为可以速战速决,原来上天没有忘记我欠缺的诚意,记得把不育这种病症完好无损的留给我. 我人生中因此多了一个科目,生平最没有信心和把握的考试.

End of the Cycle

十一月十五日 星期六 阴

虽然已经猜到结果会是甚么,我也以为我已经准备好了. 但真正接到验血报告时,心情不免还是会难过. 没有原因, 就是这样. Embryos' quality is good, range from grade 4-5 and lining thickness was 12mm. 下一步应该会尝试FET,最早也要在农历新年过后了. 我知道这是我的报应,因为我不够爱小孩,所以上天是不会让我轻易得到他的.

11dp3dt

My OHSS symptom suddenly disappeared yesterday. My appetite is back. I am happy that I am almost back to my normal life. But then, does it also mean that I have lost all my littles one? That's what I heard, it gets worse with pregnancy, and disappears if you're not pregnant.

8dp3dt

因为有些担心,所以我昨天回去clinic一趟. 还好我的OHSS只是mild而已,需要持续吃高蛋白质的食物. 同时也会暂停Pregnyl injection因为这会加重我的OHSS. 我想这回应该是凶多吉少了吧. DH也觉得就当是给钱拿个经验好了.

6dp3dt

就最近这两天我的肚子又出事了. 我从来没像今天这么担心打针过,这些针会增加我的Hormon level吧! 也就意味着我的肚子还会更加涨吗? 它已经好像接近爆炸的边沿了. 昨天半夜两点多很不舒服的醒过来,好后悔晚餐吃的那包炒伊面. 我对自己说我不会再乱吃了. 后来打电话去clinic,因为我有点不想持续打那些针了,结果护士只是很冷淡的表示,这是正常的. 那我还能怎么样? 早餐乖乖喝Ensure+2 egg whites,午餐也不敢乱来,只吃了个香肠面包,我也冲了姜水喝. 希望今晚可以安眠.

5dp3dt

我今天很不规矩,没冲Ensure喝,还吃了很多超咸的酸梅. 早餐狼吞虎咽的吃了一包干捞快熟面加蛋,午餐还很得意的在网上搜寻有那些Delivery. 结果因为只有我一个人吃,只能order Mcdonal,其它都太大份了. 没想到不下20分钟就送来了, 急促的從床上跳起来跑出去开门. 每天11AM-1PM是我insertion后躺着休息的时候,通常也会不知觉的小睡一会. 我竟然完全忘了我的小不点,冲上冲下的,到底小不点们还在不在呢? 然后我又像饿鬼般把grilled chicken folderover + fries + milo ice扫个清光. 没两下子我的报应来了,我的肚子又开始紧绷了起来,硬梆梆的,像打满了风的轮胎. 我多希望自己可以像卡通般用针在肚皮上刺个小洞,让风漏出来. 好辛苦,明明很饿,可是却只能吃一点,又控制不了自己的食欲. 唉..

4dp3dt

I have no appetite at all since I got up this morning. I don't know what happen to my stomach, I always feel full all the time. Eating strawberry is also too feeling for me, even 1 cup of water. I decided to cook multigrain porridge + mushroom for myself. The other dishes I had were not healthy except the fried egg with olive oil. But I like it so much and this was the 1st meal that I enjoyed so much after my ET.

They dun look delicious. But they are my favourite.

3dp3dt

I woke up very early this morning. But had breakfast only at 9 something. Felt like eating instant noodle so much. I have decided to stop eating instant noodle ever since I decided to start IVF which is nearly 2 months already. Dr advised not to take too much of processed food. But this morning I just couldn't help. So I cooked 1 packet of instant noodle+egg.

10:00 AM Went to the opposite clinic for my Proluton Depot injection. It cost me SGD15. Then tapao my lunch, corn + carrot + pork rip soup and rice.

11:00AM As usual, I was asleep after my Cyclogest insertion during the 2 hour bed rest. Yesterday I have gotten my sms ready to enter the Smitten magazine contest. The 1st 100 sms that reached them at 1pm would win a SGD1900 Toshiba laptop. Too bad, it was already 1:30pm when I woke up. Aiyo..

Tonight my dinner would be koey teow + bee hoon goreng. It is going to be spicy again.

2dp3dt

开始放假一个人呆在家里. 早上醒来喝了一大杯水加点蜜糖,马上有要上厕所的感觉. 我已经有几天没办法上了,好开心,肚子也好像有些扁了,毒素都排得七七八八了吧.

今天我除了要自己去买午餐外,还要问问附近的药房,可否帮我打针. 有些闷,因为DH不让我用电脑,要知道我可是Internet addicted,这让我2WW的日子有些难挨. 觉得自己像个病人,一些小动作都好像会对腹部造成压力,不知如何是好.

早餐: Ensure + 2 egg whites
午餐: 楼下的杂饭,为了要吃得健康些才要了青菜,没想到会那么难吃.
晚餐: Bee Hoon Goreng很好吃,只是很辣,超爱吃辣,可是有必要减少吃辣吗?
零食: Brazil nuts, pumpkin seeds, Honey and Soya bean drink

ET

十一月一日 星期六 晴

9:45AM 我还是比预约早到一个小时. 医生因为有些紧急手术所以迟来.

11:15AM 终于见到医生了. I have 27 eggs retrived, 16 of them are fertilized, 3 poor quality embryos are discarded, 10 embryos are frozen. Dr recommended me to have 3 embryos transfer and these 3 are the best among all of them. However, I couldn't start the ET immediately. Dr asked me to take 1 1/2 glass of water and wait.

1:45PM I was already in the operating theater and the nurse has done the second US. I still need to hold my pee and wait.

2:45PM Another US, I could see from the screen that, it was clear now. The nurse informed the Dr and started the cleaning process and tied both my legs. I guess this is how people give birth bah.

3:00PM Finally, the Dr arrived. Dr asked me to relax otherwise it would be difficult for the embryos to stick to my lining. The whole process was quite fast. I could see my embryos on the screen. However, at that moment my concern was when I could pee. I don't think I could hold for another 1 hour inside there. Luckily the Dr got the nurse to help me. That was the 1st time I pee without going to the toilet. The nurse inserted a tube in me and walah my pee was gone in an instant. I have not forgetten to ask about my lining's thickness, according to the Dr it was about 12mm during the last scan.

4:30PM Leaving the Clinic. Everyone wishes me Good luck. They are getting ready to leave too. The clinic is supposed to close at 3pm.

Total cost for today is RM1300(ET) + RM2500(ICSI) + RM1035(Medicine)

Continue the insertions AM and PM daily

DH will help me to inject Pregnyl(2000iu=0.4ml) on 4th,7th & 10th Nov


I will look for a clinic nearby to help me on this injection

ER

十月二十九日 星期三 晴

好恐怖的ER. 对我来说,目前最辛苦的是ER. 好痛啊!可能是我的卵泡太多了.
27/10 7:30AM - Lucrin(0.04iu)
27/10 10:00PM - Ovidrel(250mg)
28/10 11:00PM - 吃两粒黄色的药丸,隔天六点钟就起身,总共上了五次厕所,肚子够空了吧.
8:10AM 提早到达,原本的预约是九点.
8:30AM 护士小姐帮我量温度和血压,然后付RM4900.
9:00AM DH交货,我换好衣服在房间里等.

10:30AM 等了好久,终于护士小姐来了,她要我把身上的饰物和手表都脱掉. Embryologist是一个中年华人,他帮我插管,并告诉我会痛,果然很痛. 闭上眼,然后就没有知觉了. 我不知道隔了多久才醒过来,刚醒来时头像要撕裂般,下腹部很痛很痛. 吊了一包的盐水和两包albumin,albumin是为了预防OHSS. 感觉超饿,已经禁食也没喝水超过12个小时了.

1:30PM 下床走回房,再吊一包的盐水,然后吃些饼干和Milo,好饿,还好我有买了BreadTalk. 我是个瞒急性的人,要我躺在床上无所事事真的很难,Ipod又在抽屉里,幸好后来护士小姐把DH叫进来.下腹部还是很痛很痛,止痛药好像没甚么效力. 一共取得27颗卵子,卵泡的直径是18MM以上.

常常在网上游览各论坛,都没有听说ER原来这么痛. 站也不是,坐也不是,连躺下也感觉得到抽痛. 天啊,这辈子最痛就这天了. 还好隔天醒来,一切好像都过去了似的,除了肚子有点涨风外,现在的我还可以穿牛仔裤呢.这几天还需要Cyclogest 400mg Insertion,各在11AM和11PM,最好两个小时内不要走动. 总觉得塞得不够深,老是流出来,尤其是在公司11AM的那趟,有时要开会根本不可能坐上两个小时.

Total cost for today is RM4900(ER) + RM500(albumin) + RM75(Cyclogest)

最后一针Gonal f

今早打了Lucrin(0.04iu) and Gonal f(225iu). 终于这是最后一针Gonal f, 我希望自己不要再长新的卵泡,有点可怕,原有的卵泡快快长大就行了. 其实前晚半夜醒来就一直睡不好,很担心卵泡长不够大也担心卵泡长得太快. 所以昨天一见到医生就急问为甚么肚子那么不舒服. 医生原先还很满意我的数量,一听我那么一说就怀疑我的卵泡持续再长. 结果真的长多了14颗,医生表示他们懂得怎么处理,但我就得忍一忍这几天的不舒服. 快等不及ER了.

双倍的卵泡

十月二十五日 星期六 晴

Today is my 2nd US. My number of follicles has increased by double. I have a total of 28 follicles now. No wonder I have bloatedness. 2-3 of them have reached the size of more than 20mm. Most of them are at 13-15mm. Dr has to push my ER 1 day back for the mid-size follicles to grow for another day. My Gonal f injection will be reduced to 225iu. According to Dr, 14 is a good number, 28 is a bit too many. I hope the bloatedness will be gone after the ER.

Total cost for today is RM200.

This is going to be my last jab for this cycle b4 ET.

Went to MOF for lunch, I couldn't finish the tofu avocado salad with wasabi sauce. I feel so full b'cos of the bloatedness.

受罪了,我的肚皮

两天了得把裤子的扭扣打开,否则肚子真的好不舒服. 我想我暂时只好把牛仔裤和其他裤子摆一边好了. 不懂卵泡长多大了,肚子感觉好涨,完全不会觉得饿的那种. 每天还是固定的吃早餐,乳酪+牛奶+麦片+香蕉+蛋白,午餐外吃,晚餐喝Ensure+蛋白两只. 水果我吃草莓和葡萄,原本打算要天天吃粒苹果,买是买了但懒得削皮,所以还没吃. 不过我会停吃香蕉,听说不是很适合备孕,还有葡萄,糖份好像太高了点.

因为针打在肚子周围,左边的肚皮乌青,但右边的却还好,可能右边的脂肪比较多吧.

请假

拿了28号的假,因为如没意外这天会是我ER的日子. 至于2WW我只通知老板说可能会请假而已. 事实难料嘛,不想浪费我的假期,尤其已经所剩无几了. 如果31号ET的话,我们会住宿在酒店一晚,好好休息一天再回家.

卵泡

十月二十一日 星期二 晴

Today went for my first scan after jabbing Gonal f. I have 7 follicles on each ovary, size ranges from 7mm-11mm. When the size of the leading follicles reaches 17 to 20 mm in average diameter and the estradiol hormone level is appropriately elevated, then it is time for the eggs to be "harvested".

Will be on Lucrin(0.04iu) and Gonal f(300iu) until this coming Saturday. Then the Dr will decide and confirm the dates for ER and ET.

护士小姐从用过的3支Gonal F pen抽取剩余的足以凑成两支笔,所以我只需再多两支笔就行了. 希望我的卵泡乖乖长大,让我可以顺利完成这个周期.

Total cost for today is RM1200 (Gonal f RM600x2)

又购物去了..

Carefour的Brazil nut超贵,所以我又回去Giant买,这回我买200g. 其实还瞒好吃的,只是有些小贵. 买了一双可爱的TopShop平底鞋,这至少跟备孕有关吧. 还有,我还需要再买Ensure. 花钱花钱花钱,when is financial crisis going to hit home? Tough times, am I ready? Yeah, I have been trying to go for house brands for grocery.

Brazil nut 长甚么样子? 就是这样,像我的拇指般大小

Cooler Gel

护士特别贴心的交代,别把用过的Gonal f给丢弃. 要我带回去让他们把剩余的Gonal f抽出来再使用,直接丢太可惜了,因为很昂贵. 其实他们有给我一个大袋子,底层可以放冰块,但我嫌它太大了,有点麻烦,而且还得弄些冰块包起来,原因是我大意的把原本的冰袋给丢了. 后来从论坛里得知Daiso有卖这种Packed Cooler Gel,真的很好用,那我就不用担心要怎么把我的药大老远的带回去了. 我还买了一个aluminium tool bag,刚好可以装得下我的Cooler Gel,太可爱了.

昨天也在Dorothy Perkins买了衣服,50%+additional 10% for UOB member. 如果成功了就不可能穿得到. 但我不想这么想,我应该过着我原本的生活,买我想要买的,这样我才可以轻轻松松的渡过这个周期.

有点太早了..

Diet guide for first trimester Pregnancy 怀孕初期（1－3月）饮食宜忌 Always remember to maintain a balance diet and take everything in moderation. Always consult your doctor if you have doubts.

宜吃食物：

1. 生姜――对身体虚寒孕吐厉害者有帮助。治疗孕妇着凉感冒有效。不能过量，会便秘上火。
Ginger – helpful for MTB with weak body and who has bad morning sickness. Effective treatment for pregnant women who change a cold or flu. Must not consume too much, will be lead to constipation and heatiness.

2. 板栗――活血化淤，止血的功效，孕妇常吃可以健身壮骨，有利骨盆的发育成熟，消除疲劳。但消化不良者，糖尿病人不得吃过量。板栗核桃粥对阴道出血，头晕耳鸣，小便频密有食疗作用。
Chestnut - Promoting blood circulation, pregnant women can eat for stronger bone health, development of pelvic, fighting fatigue. However, those with indigestion, diabetics should not eat too much. Walnut and chestnut porridge is effect for stopping vaginal bleeding, dizziness, frequent urine.

3. 草莓――有多种矿物质及维生素，明目养肝。丰富膳食纤维和果胶可帮助消化，适合因怀孕便秘的女性食用。常吃草莓，对头发皮肤有保健作用。
Strawberry - Has a variety of minerals and vitamins. Good for Liver and eyesight. High in dietary fiber and rich in pectin. Help to improve digestion. Suitable for women suffering from pregnancy constipation. Eating strawberries also promote better hair growth and complexion.

4. 蘑菇――白蘑菇，洋蘑菇。有大量植物纤维，具预防便秘，促进排毒，预防糖尿病及降低胆固醇含量的作用。含多种抗病毒成份，能增强免疫力。
Mushrooms - white mushrooms, Western mushroom. It is rich in plant fiber, helpful in the prevention of constipation. With a variety of anti-viral ingredients that can enhance immunity. Promote detoxification, prevention of diabetes and lower cholesterol levels.

5. 芝麻－－钙含量高，对胎儿的发育有促进作用。洒少量在菜肴或白饭上，也可在煮粥时加入。芝麻有大量油脂，有润肠通便的作用。
Sesame - high calcium content, good for the development of the fetus. The sesame oil is helpful in the prevention of constipation. Conveniently sprinkle a small amount on rice or vegetable dishes.
Food to avoid during first trimester:
忌吃食物：

1. 山楂――会刺激子宫收缩。 Hawthorn (shan zha) - will stimulate uterus contraction.

2. 西瓜――会刺激子宫收缩，高糖分，糖尿病者禁食。 Watermelon - will stimulate the uterus to contract, high-sugar, not suitable for diabetes.

3. 龙眼――会导致漏红或先兆流产 Longan - would lead to spotting and threatened abortion.

4. 益母草――会使子宫收缩，对胎儿危害十分大。做月子时才吃。 Motherwort(yi mu cao) - cause the uterus to contract, to the great harm to the fetus.

What is embryo doing after ET?

3 day transfer:-
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells 8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

5 day transfer:-
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
0dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells 6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

Tips

The following is a list of tips that I got from Singapore motherhood IVF/ICSI support group:-

1. Place the raw egg white in a cup, pour boiling water on the egg white and stir, add ensure milk powder after 10-15 min. Cooking the eggs even for a short while over the stove destroys the albumin protein which we need. U must eat betw 4-8 egg whites after your ER op as the onset of OHSS is most severe after ER op.

2. Take 3 to 4 egg whites every morning during lucrin and puregon injections. Then took about 7 egg whites after ER. But reduced to 3 egg whites again after ET. Drink milk daily too.

3. Drink red dates help implantation.

4. Things you should DO before ER:
- Eat an egg or two each day or other protein rich foods
- Acupuncture (if possible)
- Massage
- Drink lots of water
- Exercise (only light exercise when stimming and after ER/ET like walking,. This increases blood flow to the uterus) Don’t get heart-rate over 140
- Eat lots of protein and high-quality fats. Nuts, seeds, eggs, meats, beans etc
- Eat lots of fiber as well. This helps PCOS women with IR to regulate insulin better
- Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Take frequent naps

5. Things you should AVOID before ER:
- DH should not expose himself to sauna/hottub
- Avoid cold/iced food
- Avoid excess amounts of red meats
- Don’t eat sugar or sugar substitutes! Sugar negatively effects egg quality.
- No alcohol for either partner for at least 1 month before ER
- Reduce or eliminate caffeine intake
- Avoid eating fish due to mercury content

6. Things you should DO after ER:
- Relax
- Drink plenty of Gatorade
- Drink Pedialyte(isotonic rehydration drink) and water to avoid OHSS. 3-5 liters a day!

7. Things you should AVOID after ER:
- Exposure to sun

8. After ET care:
- No heavy lifting! Anything over 5 lbs is too much
- Rest, rest, rest!!!!!

9. Avoid using Cologne, hairspray, aftershave etc during ER

10. Activity restrictions after IVF transfer
- lie on back for 1 hour after embryo transfer before going home
- limit physical activity for the remainder of that day. This means hang out on the couch or in the Lazy-boy recliner - watch videos, read, boss hubby around, etc
- allow "normal activity" beginning the morning after embryo transfer - but heavy bouncing of the uterus is restricted until after the pregnancy test. Therefore, water skiing, jogging, "uterus bouncing sex", etc. are probably not a good idea until after the pregnancy test

11. IVF embryo transfer and travel
- do not fly out on the day of the transfer, but wait until the next day

生活习惯

自从做了这个决定后,生活习惯有些改变.

1. 每天必读论坛Singapore motherhood IVF/ICSI Support Group

2. 每天必喝Ensure Strawberry + Egg white

3. 零食换成Almonds,brazil nuts and pumpkin seeds

4. 开始跑步和瑜伽

5. 舍弃冻饮料

6. 尽量吃得更健康

7. 停吃胶原蛋白

Long Protocol

十月四日 星期六 晴
进度就像预期般,还算顺利. 我才知道有两种Protocol,我的是较长的那种. 第一阶段是23天的Lucrin,AF预测会在第10至14天的时侯报到. 然后第二阶段持续Lucrin(0.04iu)8天,第9天开始打Lucrin(0.04iu)和Gonal F(300iu),打了Gonal F的第5天需要再回去检验,医生会跟着身体的反应调整药的份量一直到ER. ET通常会在ER的3天后,2WW才算是第三阶段. 今天医生还是很满意我的状况,我希望他说这话时可是真心的.

下个星期二开始就得自己打针,有点担心会应付不来,因为下个星期瞒忙的. One more thing, I need to store the medicine in the fridge. It would be so great if I have the SK2 small fridge for the SK2 Mask. Then I can make full use of it now.

Total cost for today is RM3470. The RM3000 is for Gonal F(RM600 x 5).

这瓶小东西可不便宜喔

最贵的一支笔,montblanc除外

E2 Test

一直有点担心自己对Lucrin没反应. 昨晚还恶梦连连,吓坏了. 还好检验的结果,E2 level是<18.4,从hormon level的角度来看,我现在可是在更年期喔. 哈!!

Went to Raffles Hospital for the BT. I paid the bill by UOB credit card and I got additonal 10% discount. Didn't know credit card promotion is also applicable to Singapore Hospital :D

Total cost for today is SGD48.90

Yoga Postures for Infertility

1. Supported Bridge Pose :
- Lie on the back and bent your knees with feet flat on the floor ,
- Move your feet to your bottom as close as possible,
-Inhale and exhale deeply 4 times, then slowly lift your pelvis and buttocks off the floor while keeping your feet flat on the floor,
-Clasp your hands behind your back,
-Stay in this pose for a minute or two while breathing deeply.

2. Legs up on the wall pose:
-Lie on your side with your buttocks close to wall,
-Slowly inhale and exhale, then when you are exhaling turn your body and move your legs up to the wall at the same time so that you create a 90-degree angle at your pelvis between your legs and body,
-Stay in this pose for a few minutes inhaling and exhaling slowly.

3. Cobbler's pose:
-Sit on the floor with your legs stretched out,
-Inhale and exhale then while exhaling bring your feet close to your groin and push the sole of your feet against each other,
-Hold to your toes and when exhaling try to lower your knees to the ground as much as you can,
-Hold this pose for about 3-5 minutes while slowly inhaling and exhaling.

AF不来

这个月的AF竟然不准时报道,急死我了. 打了Lucrin,医生有说AF量会多,周期也会长些. 可是今天已经是第12天了,AF还没来,一开始就不太顺,唉..

后记: AF在第13天那天报道了, 26 Sept 2008

第一针

九月十三日 星期六 阴

從上个月AF的第一天算起的第21天,也就是今天,我开始了ivf cycle. 医生给了我时间表,如果一切顺利进行,整个过程会在十月底完成,然后就是所谓的2ww了. 医生很满意我的状况,他说我的身体已经准备好了,子宫内膜也正常. 抽血过后,护士帮我打了Lucrin针,瞒疼的. 这是会降低hormone level,阻止排卵. 估计这个月的AF会稍长几天.

看过一些论坛,有些人对Lucrin没反应,需要再加量,好恐怖. 果然是知道得越多越担心,我打算不要在搜查太多的资料,把一切都交给我现在的医生吧!

Total cost for Today is RM4000(Deposit) + RM470(Lucrin)

祝我好运!

八月二十日 星期六 雨

可能是七月鬼上身的缘故,我竟然决定要试管婴儿了,医学上称IVF/ICSI,听说是试管婴儿的第二代吧.其实成功率并不高.但是我还能做些甚么呢?还好已经买了好几个包包,现在可以把钱省下来给试管宝宝.下个月的十三号我就会开始IVF/ICSI的周期了.

Total cost for today is RM50(consultantion fee).

第一次

八月十六日 星期六 晴天

我想每个人对自己的身体都有一定程度的信心, 就象我从没想过不育会发生在我身上一样. 检验的结果是:-
1. 子宫内膜偏厚
2. 精子数量太少,健康的也不多.
所以医生的建议是试管婴儿不必浪费时间.我当下就决定,好!那就算了.反正我看见小孩就生气,收工吧.试孕让我觉得生活好累,排除生育的可能对我来说是一件开心的事.

Total cost for today is RM190(sperm test) + RM190(for my ultra scan).

我疯了

从来没考虑过要生小孩这件事.以为只要想生就可以生,压根从没想过不育这回事.搬来这座城市让我做了人生从没想过的决定,生活太苦闷了吧.想买和要买的都买了七七八八.唯一没买过的是婴儿用品.在这个除了购物之外就没什么事可做的地方.我的人生真是败给了它,竟然答应老公开始试孕.试了一年也没有消息,根据网上的资讯是需要去检查了.